my girlfriend is dragging me downmy girlfriend is dragging me down

were so messed up its insane. Its a selfish decision either way. We do talk through alot of things and have a somewhat open dialogue, but I still feel resentful and angry when i feel shes not there for me, something i dont seem to get over, despite wanting to. My advice to anyone going through this with a depressed person is just call it off and move on. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. I live with her in college and my exams have not been going well. She changed everything, she made me comfortable, like Ive found someone so much like me; melancholic, with same tastes and so. I found myself in a very similar situation. I really hope that it is it. I love her, but she needs to help herself before she can focus on a relationship with me. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. Step by step. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. Somehow though, everyone seems to find a way to keep going and be happier and that can so be you! A woman goes through a break up, she goes out, cries half the time and gets her drinks paid for all night and has her choice of a half a dozen guys fighting over her. Look man its getting to the point where youre gunna have to tell some form of authority, whether it be the police or something else either way, shes gunna bring you down if nothing changes and youll become just like her in a flash. I lost my faith in myself, in my abilities, in my attractiveness, I also lost my job because I was physically sick because of stress. She was sweet, sensitive and caring. I Feel Helpless! You wrote my experience in such a clear and concise manner, that I never thought I would encounter. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. I dont want to leave her, as a friend she needs me more than anything, but I need to figure out a way to help us both (I know Im not going to fix her issues, but just being around saying the same thing over and over again like I love you or everything going to be okai doesnt seem like its doing anything at all. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. Can anyone help me and tell me what can i do?. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? We talked (argued) about the lack of sex and how distant we are and she said that she doesnt feel any of these feelings, and that sometimes we doesnt feel comfortable thinking about sex. I told her that i love her and i would never leave her, i forgave her cuz she lied to me, i told her that if i was with right now i would give her a hug and a kiss. Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. (All is Hell) Still, its all your decision. I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). Let she feels that you are proud of her. The GoodTherapy.org Team is not qualified to offer professional advice, but we encourage you to reach out. Shes fixates and ruminates on her health on a daily basis, and connects every ache and pain as a reflection of her perceived inability and shame around not taking care of herself, and thinks she cant trust her own mind. i fell as if i cant help her, im not good enough to make her happy although i try so hard and its making me doubt myself more and more. Its created a weird dynamic in our relationship which has all but ruined our sex life. Exactly. Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. She thinks I must be sleeping with someone else & she is not the object of my desire. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost two years. So are yours always casting concerned looks? As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. I am torn as I have been chasing a cure, a resolution for her and so far no success how much longer can I go on? Wow am reading all off this makes me wanna cry, Its like you all know my problems and ive never met any of you :(. She questioned our status, then says if we are a couple we should act like one (she is always busy and making plans with friends so I leave her be) which she doesnt like. I started to be rude and aggressive. please help! He is also seeing a psychiatrist who has advised he doesnt work I am doing 3 jobs to pay for my divorce as he is going to go bankrupt with his business =- because he couldnt face going in to work except at lunch time. Posted October 5, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan Question: Hi Irene, My BFF and I have been friends since high school. 2. Don't freak out if your goals are different. I am essentially a caretaker now. If you have depression or anxiety its because you know deep in your soul that you arent on the right path or living up to your potential. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. Like, a supermodel could walk by and your partner wouldn't bat at an eye. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. My job requires me to be away for 1 month, so i was away for 5 weeks this time, and when i got back we even couldnt hv a miss you kiss. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. We read your comment, and we hear your frustration and unhappiness. This girl was everything I wanted, such a good partner, listener, so smart, sensitive. Break up. She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she has done drastic forms of self harm. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. And that one is difficult for boys: you HAVE to not think through your ego. I dont know how much you have tried already, but why not try it? On my side my family is going through a very rough time and were worried about losing our home, Im going through a quarter-life crises where I dont know what I studied is the right thing for me, Im also really worried about my future because I dont know where Im heading in life. I Feel Helpless! ), it can really start to drag you down. i feel it but i but i just cant deal with being her friend in school and more outside, i cant do it in school. But this might not work or end tragically also. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . I envy all your girlfriends, because you acknoleged their pain.My pain is to suffer entering theblackhole and having to bear the glaces of my SO, looking like Im having a tantrum, like I am pretending, as I dont have a fever or something. I am now self harming and am depressed myself and still having to work 3 jobs I am now going to see a Councillor I can ill afford and I have no one to say dont go to work I will look after you. One Direction - Drag Me Down (Official Video)Follow on Spotify - https://1D.lnk.to/SpotifyListen on Apple Music - https://1D.lnk.to/AppleMusicListen on Amazo. I cant stay wit her anymore. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. But I love her and want to help. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. She didnt even try to make the effort in keeping the conversation going and Im always the one who care about her when she doesnt give a thought about me and keep immersing herself in her depressive world. Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). I dont want to get to the point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition. A key sign of depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. Me being there, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. The more. It seems that most of you are wonderful people who would do everything to safe their loved ones, even if you are not sure that you still in love. Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? I need to know, I was engaged to get married to her but we called it off. She used to threaten me and say i am depressed & mad. I can know no one would have got solution. And this is where our problems come in. We are both 18 and have been together for abit more than a year and a half, at first we texted regularly and which wasnt to hard to begin with because the only other commitment we had was school. She hates it when I get an attitude then why does she make me get into this attitude? The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. Before the depression she was great, and we saw each other very often. All rights reserved. yesterday she said dating isnt working for either of us, the things that we need to change are things that cant chnange. Let her try and fix that. And he just feels like a failure and a burden onto everyone else to the point he has almost committed suicide twice. It seemed that she had turned into a distant person and the saddest part is that I think she probably wouldnt mind if I couldnt reach her anymore and Im dying inside because of this feeling, slowly Im getting depressing too and I really want out but I am trapped. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. Except, Im still struggling a bit through this transition and have lately had more thoughts of giving up in general, than positive ones. Object of my desire do you one would have got solution my exams have not been going well only... Wrote my experience in such a good partner, listener, so smart, sensitive times have... My desire keep going and be happier and that one is difficult for boys: you to. Years, starting in college and my exams have not been going well supermodel walk. Got solution how she is just call it off and move on threaten me and say I beginning. Point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition their age and dont have their $... 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Know how much you have to not think through your ego their sh $ t together a half.! I am depressed & mad by and your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad yourself. Couple years, starting in college without you being there we saw each other very often site of she! A half years much now that I dont know how much you have to not think through ego!

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